Today, being the first day I was aware that I would have to give an honest accounting of, I feel simply okay about it. I say that I would have to give an honest accounting because I am a creature with the belief that if I make a commitment to myself, I would be better off keeping that commitment than running aground and fleeing. I've had too many bad experiences that are associated with personal commitments gone south than to attempt to mess with.
As for anything that I dedicate myself to, I follow two simple rules that help guide my decisions for odd circumstances. The first rule is to know myself. Regardless of the relationships I develop, destroy, strengthen, or retard, the one companion that will stay constant is myself. Above all that I do and think, I must understand and know that it is a choice that I would and should logically choose in harmony with myself. Now, I don't mean that if I don't benefit from a choice, I won't make it. Instead, I mean that if the choice will lead me down a path I have no business, in my own mind, walking down, I should not make that choice. But in order to be able to make such determinations, I must be consciously aware of myself at all times, whilst being mindful of others. My first rule is to know myself.
The second rule is to be true to myself at all times. It is more of an amendment to the first rule, but can occasionally stand alone. This rules simply means that I make the choices I feel are right at all times, regardless of the outcome. If the choice I feel is right will lead me to harm, I need to understand the value in keeping such integrity alive might have greater consequences that mere self-preservation. Regardless of religion, philosophy, theology, or belief system, I feel as though I can judge myself according to what I feel is the correct path. Any diversion of that path is a wrong against myself; and, in reflection of my first rule, can lead to much worse situations.
That is why I feel that I must give an accounting of my day -- because I told myself that I would, regardless of who might or might not see, or how it might or might not be displayed. All this from the semi-retarded friend.
Today was like most other days with a few changes. I woke up later than I knew I should have (10:30, I believe), and had a Weight Watchers ice cream bar for breakfast. Then, I retired to my basement with a 2-liter of diet root beer and began my studies. I had thought that I would need four hours of studying each day to keep up with my online courses, but I have learned in the last month that only a couple are truly needed, if I am committed for those two hours. So, I studied until just before 1:00 pm. In that time, I got four assignments done, and prepared for a couple of tests I have this weekend. I then spent the next two hours doing some yard/house work. I was going to rotate the tires on one of the cars, but I couldn't find the pump for the jack and decided to save it for tomorrow. Instead, I fixed two doors that wouldn't click shut anymore due to the shifting of the house. I just had to file down the plates on the door frame to make the tongue slide into place. Then, I decided it was time for lunch, even though I wasn't really hungry.
Now here's my dilemma with food -- when I am eating regularly, I can't seem to get enough of it; but when I diet, I don't ever seem to really crave it. And I know that simply not eating is very bad for the body, and so I eat out of ethics, but not out of hunger, and so I feel terrible about eating since I don't really think that I need to. So, I ate something low in calories, but high in density -- a turkey sub.
Thinking that the weather looked acceptable, I went golfing, and decided to walk the course. I had planned on going for at least nine holes, but it started to rain pretty good and I didn't want to ruin my iPhone with all the moisture, and quit after four holes. I was pretty tired, and now had an extra hour before I could think of anything remotely important that I had to do. So, I went home, back to the couch, and watched another movie to invigorate my motivation. It did just that, and then I was invited to dinner with my family. I wasn't as frugal as I should have been with my eating, though I did force myself to stop eating at the first hint of hunger dissipation, and only had a third of a dessert. For me, that's really big. So, I took a box, deciding to finish it tomorrow for lunch and went back to the house and watched another movie.
After the motivation was back, I decided to get on the stationary bike and get a good workout in. I got on the bike, but quickly found out that the shorts I had selected rode VERY high and pinched my Hardy Boys -- it was no mystery (HA!). And so I changed to an elliptical machine. That went okay for a couple minutes, then the dang thing kept coming off track. I guess there was just too much weight on it. So, I turned to the treadmill, knowing that I might break it if I bounce too much in step, and decided to take it slow until I was sure it wasn't going to explode.
I was able to get a good twenty minutes in on the treadmill before I stopped. *Note to self -- not wearing boxer-briefs while exercising in anticipation of getting into a hot tub after, creates too much friction in the thighs. I was developing sores and had to stop for sanity sake. Perhaps I'll try Vaseline or something to reduce the friction. We'll see. I'll keep you posted on that. Then, I got in the hot tub for about fifteen minutes, and then showered. Now, I'm sitting on my bed, thinking about finishing a movie I couldn't finish last night because of my internet acting weird. Starting on Day 5, I will be posting my weight as I will be weighing in every Saturday afternoon. My starting weight to this venture was about 420 pounds, and I am not much further down from that now.
Fat Score: 6
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